


The burden of a name

by Demoneye



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Insecurity, Light Angst, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, poor tyelpe im so sorry, slight mention of Tyelpe x Celegorm, some moping in nargothrond, young Celebrimbor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 17:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8762128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demoneye/pseuds/Demoneye
Summary: Before becoming the greatest smith and elven lord of Eregion, Celebrimbor too, was just an insecure young man.





	

It hurt, it just hurt so much.  
Celebrimbor stood in the forges and stared at his work.  
He couldn’t take this anymore, it just hurt so much.

He was a failure, he knew it.  
He would never live up to the expectations his father had.  
Frustrated he threw his hammer aside and just sat down on a nearby chair,  
his hands covering his face in shame.

Why did he even try?  
Everything he seemed to touch went wrong, nothing right.  
He felt hot tears welling up in his eyes.

His last works were nothing but trash, his father didn’t even bat an eye on them.  
It was so frustrating, how should he life up to this expectations?  
He was only an mere elf, he didn’t want to be his high praised grandfather, or like his father.  
He only wanted to be himself, Celebrimbor, and no one else.  
He wanted to be seen for what he was, and stop standing in the shadow of his ancestors.

The tears were now slowly dripping over his cheeks and onto his balled fists.

It wasn’t like anyone would understand what he felt like, and it wasn’t like he had anyone to talk to.  
His father was never an option, his mother? Death or gone where ever she was now.

Celebrimbor sighted, he felt so alone.  
And this damned city didn’t make it better at all, it just added to the loneliness.  
Not many wanted to share his company since he was a feanorian.

Tired eyes watched the fire slowly glimmering out, tears long dried up now.  
He had no idea how long he had just sat there, in the forges.  
Mulling up in his misery, but just as thought, no one had cared to look after him anyway.

They probably thought he was simply busy, and working through the night again.  
Since that wasn’t something that unusual.

He just wished for someone to understand him, to actually truly care for him.  
But it wasn’t as if he hadn’t given up hope on that long ago.

Because who would ever feel something like love for him, and not use him simply as an replacement for lusts unfulfilled?

Slowly he started to get up, stretching his body.  
He would need to clean up the mess he had left behind and also melt down his abandoned work.

It was just all a big mess, and he wanted to leave it behind so badly.  
Leave his past behind, start anew.  
Make a name on his own.

But he knew that his past would ever burden him, and he couldn’t escape.  
Just like his father, and his brothers were burdened with the oath.  
He was burdened with this name, with his ancestors.

If only there was someone who would see him outside of that, yes that would be truly something wonderful.


End file.
